So I decided a few months ago that I would be more open to getting to know people, particularly those of the opposite sex. Generally I am a friendly person but I realize that I can be a bit standoffish when it comes to men. 
The reason behind it is that I don't really trust them very much (abandonment issues but that is a story for another time). I try not to generalize and say that all men are bad because I don't believe that, there are lots of really great men out there. I've even had the privilege of meeting some. However, it seems that lately every time you tune into the media you hear about another man who has cheated. Suffice to say, I've developed a protective shell.
I am very guarded and I know that it comes off a bit cool to men so I'm working on it.
 The other reason is that I simply just don't understand them. Try as I might, I am left stumped by some of their actions.

Case in point, a little over a month ago I met a seemingly nice young man. We talked a lot, I mean 2-3 hr conversations which were nice and I thought it was the start of something special; he made it seem like he was very much interested. He was making plans for all the things we were going to do over the summer, places we were going to go and all that good stuff. 
Dude was intelligent, ambitious, funny and good looking to boot.
I was starting to like him. I even overlooked some of his less than refined qualities because he came across as a decent guy and some flaws can get a pass if they aren't severe.

I return from my vacation and the young man is MIA. I called and even sent a few texts and nada. Not one to linger over a dead fish-- I quickly deleted all his contact info just in case I get tempted to call, which my pride probably wouldn't let me do anyway. I can't figure out why he couldn't just man up and say he is no longer interested. I have to confess I'm a little hurt but that is life in all its complicated glory.

This one goes into my WTF files.

It's so tempting to rebuild those barricades but life is about chances so I'm jumping back in head first. God I hope I don't hit a rock going in.

Labels: , ,