Today is Father's Day, I can't really say that it was a big deal for me. I hesitated whether or not to call my father since he was never there when I was growing up. I did after a lot of contemplation and I simply did it because I knew my mother would ask if I had and I know I would have gotten a lecture.
I don't know if he sensed the insincerity in my voice, if he did there was no evidence in his tone that he had.
All the rejection that I felt growing up is still very much present, I try to not let it get to me and for the most part I am successful but I know that deep down I am still dealing with it.
It is difficult, despite having a very strong and involved mother I can't help but wonder why my father didn't want to be around. I can't help but wonder why he chose not to be a part of my life.
I am in the process of working it out.