I was watching a very interesting show called Jilted. The premise of the show is that a woman proposes to her boyfriend. He has a week to decide and all he has to do is show up on the wedding day and give her an answer. He can choose to say yes or end the relationship. Talk about intense! A week to decide if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone.
What was interesting about the couples I saw was that the women and the men all had different ideas about where the relationship stood, the women all wanted to get married like yesterday while the men were all unsure of where the relationship was going.
The men were all aware of the many problems and differences that existed in the relationship but apparently didn't bother to notify the women. Surprise surprise.
It was so obvious the serious lack of communication about the really important things in a relationship. One guy said that there were major differences in his relationship such as finances, culture, the way a house should be run and raising children. He and his GF had been together 3.5 years. You mean to tell me that during that time it never occurred to him that he should have discussed these issues with her and quite possibly ended the relationship 3 years ago?
One guy told his GF he didn't want to get married, yet they stayed together for 3 years.
Now, in no way am I blaming the men. The women were also at fault because at the end of the day, they made the choice to either not discuss their relationship, ignore obvious clues/signs about said relationship or were purely delusional.
It is imperative that people really take the time and sit down and talk about what they want from a relationship. Lay it all out on the line and if there are major differences then be bold enough to walk away form the relationship or work it out.
There are some things according to Patti Stanger al la The Millionaire Matchmaker that should be considered non-negotiables; marriage, kids, religion things of those nature should be ironed out in your mind before you attempt to commingle with someone with their own views.
Everyone needs to make a list of 5 non-negotiables, qualities that are a must have in a partner. Anyone you meet needs to have these, if not kick 'em to the curb. I know it sounds harsh but at the end of the day it is the best thing. If more people did this, then there would be a lot less heart and head ache.
So there is my ranting on that. I just think people need to be smarter about relationships.