I was talking to two of my girlfriends earlier both of whom are also single much like moi. We were discussing our inability to find quality men of color. I consider us to be quality women. Educated, attractive, ambitious and funny are just some of the adjectives that one could use to describe us. Not bad catches in my opinion.
We live in three different states and the problem exists in all three.One of my friends is convinced that there aren't any good ones left. I haven't quite lost faith quite yet, if there are nice girls like us that exist then there has to be nice men, right?
Maybe our standards are too high? I doubt it, the things we look for in a man are quite reasonable. I mean, is wanting a man who doesn't wear his pants down at his knees too unreasonable? Or a man who actually reads, too much to desire? I was actually told by a guy that my standards were too high because I said I wanted a man who was well read. Dude got really upset and refused to speak to me. *Sigh*. We want men who are equally educated, one friend has a B.A, one a Masters in Engineering from Cornell and I'm getting my Masters as well. Is it wrong to not want to compromise when it comes to education? I just couldn't imagine dating someone who didn't go to college. I don't subscribe to the whole " college isn't for everyone" argument. There are far too many types of degrees to choose from, hell you can even design your own degree these days. You must be able to find something you enjoy. Let me clarify by saying that for me college isn't simply about getting a piece of paper, it's about the things that you learn, the experiences that help you to grow and the person you develop into. (Thought I should make that clear so people don't get all huffy).
We agreed that maybe dating inter racially wasn't such a bad idea but men of other races
don't really seem that attracted to women of color. Just check out the profiles of men on those dating websites, they will pick every race except black as a preference. I'm convinced that if alien was an option they would pick that too. Even some black guys prefer to date other races. It's a sad situation.
I know so many awesome, beautiful and educated single Black women who are still single. I believe in the whole bit about there being someone out there for everyone but I have to admit that it's becoming a lot harder to hold that belief when the reality doesn't seem to align to the belief.
As mother mother says though, you have to speak the things you want. I will continue to believe that my hubs is out there, one who I won't feel like I'm compromising for because he'll be what I need and I'll be that for him. So I'm keeping the faith.