Thing I'm Afraid to Tell You

Quite accidentally I discovered a movement that began as a result of  this post over on the blog Makeunder my Life. The whole point of it was to give readers insight into the life of Jess the blogger.It was about being truly honest with your audience about who you are as not only a blogger but as a person with a life outside of your blog.

As a blogger there is the desire to be transparent and let people into your life but it's not as easy as it seems. Even behind the anonymity of the World Wide Web, often times I self- censor out of fear that I maybe perceived in an unfavorable way. It's a vulnerable position to be in and no one wants to deliberately put them-self in a place to be judged or rejected. It's a delicate balance of saying just enough to draw interest but to remain protected.
After reading many of the blogs and the honesty of some of the ladies who shared their fears and "dirt", I decided to write this post to share some of the things I'm usually afraid to let people know.

  1. I am angry at my father for abandoning me. I pretend that it doesn't matter and that I'm strong, but it does and it hurts.
  2. I spent a lot of money on a fancy camera but I think I suck at photography.  I just can't understand the technicalities of the camera/photography and I feel like just giving up. It makes me feel so dumb.
  3. I'm afraid that I'll never meet someone to marry and I'll end up alone forever. 
  4. I sometimes feel resentful that I have to take care of most of the bills in my house because I'd rather be shopping or doing something frivolous. I then feel really guilty about feeling that way and I get angry at myself. 
  5. I can be very impatient and intolerant of other people to the point of meanness. 
  6. I'm insecure about a lot of things in my life and I mask it by acting like I'm super confident. It's a facade.
  7. I feel really lonely sometimes, inexplicably so and it makes me depressed. 
  8. At almost 30, I have no idea what I want to do with my life. 
  9. I have no money in the bank, no savings. I feel like a failure. 
  10. I'm really sensitive. I try not to be but sometimes I take things too seriously that really shouldn't matter.
  11. I am jealous of bloggers with tons of followers. I want people to follow me too. I'm kinda cool and interesting. I think. Sometimes. 

Ok, so there you have it folks. Some of my deepest secrets. This is way harder than I thought. There's definitely more there but sometimes you need some secrets.
Read more about the movement and check out other bloggers who participated HERE.
Hopefully it will inspire you to be more open too.