Finding Normal

can be difficult in a new place.  I am starting from scratch to build a new life here and of course it's a journey not without bumps. For the most part I really like it here, maybe I'm still in the honeymoon phase they talk about when you first move to someplace new. My life isn't radically different from the way it was in the US, the differences maybe subtle but noticeable anyhow. I'm trying to find that sense of "normal" I had back home. I had routines and I knew what my day entailed for the most part. Boring much? lol. Something about boring though makes you feel safe and secure. I miss that. 

The biggest difference and maybe this one isn't so subtle after all, is living alone. This has been hard for me. I come home to an empty apartment and it feels so lonely. I play music and entertain myself on the Internet which helps a little but not completely. Having lived with my mom for so long obviously I never had to deal with this feeling. Even if she wasn't home, it was not a permanent thing, I knew she would be home in a few hours or that she was in the next room. 
Luckily I have a friend across the hallway who is pretty much going through the same thing, so we hang out in the evenings. We cook for each other or watch movies. God bless her because I would be a wreck all alone in my place. 

Another difference is all the free time I have. I get done with work at 12:45 three days a week and 2:00 the other days, and that's it. Khalas, I'm done. I haven't had this much free time in over a decade. Back home I would be working 2 jobs or going to work and school full time. It is a good thing or it will be once I figure out what to do with myself. Coupled with being lonely though, it makes for a bad recipe. Hopefully once the gym in my complex opens up I will spend my time there. 

There are positives to my not feeling normal yet too. I don't want you to think I'm complaining or miserable.
One of the coolest things about being here is that it's kinda cheap to live here. I feel rich, lol. First time in a longggggggggggg time. The other night I bought a dining room table. I walked into the store, saw it and told the guy to wrap it up. I could pull out my bank card without hesitation and purchase the table I liked so much. I didn't have to go home and dream about what it could look like in that big ol' empty space in my apartment. I'll actually have there in a few days.
I also had high tea with my friend (girl from across the hall). It wasn't the fanciest but it was great to not have to worry about how much I was spending. That's not normal. I'm used to feeling like a pauper. 

It will all fall into place soon. Insha'llah (my favorite Arabic word ever- it means if God wills/when God wills). 

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