So you know those moments when you mess up and you know you're messing up but for some reason you just can't help yourself and you continue headlong and headstrong along the path of destruction.
Like when you have been on a diet and you suddenly have the urge to get one of those decadent dessert cake things from Starbucks and as you sink your teeth into said dessert you have that one moment of clarity, the voice that tells you to not do it and you hesitate for that one nanosecond because the voice is right.
You will hate yourself if you eat that cake but you close your ears and your mind, and the voice is silenced. You eat your cake and as you take bite after bite the regret starts to manifest itself but it's too late. You've come too far to turn back now so you finish your cake, every last crumb.
Yeah, I get those moments a lot.
The cake is just a metaphor for any one of my many vices. The ones that I can't seem to escape and I chastise myself every time I fall victim to their hold on me.
God, how I detest those moments. It seems I just can't help myself. "If only I had more willpower" I tell myself .
Truth is, I don't have the willpower and those moments can either be regrets that haunt me and keep me awake.Or they can be moments of weakness that I leave behind and move on with my life.
I chose the latter.